first day back and I'm hearing news about people who have left at the end of last term. On top of that, I've been hearing more people considering to leave this term.
it has been a tough journey,
countless all nighters,
disappointing report card (s),
disastrous exams, IAs, DCPCE...
we've all been through them, haven't we?
I had a dream that I left qa,
and you know what
it was a nightmare.
I did not know where I could go.
Back to my old school?
hell yeah I wish,
but there's no point,
there's an obstacle, it's responsibility,
I shouldn't bring pressure and burden to the family.
If you know what I mean, it is the fees and what the school tries to get from you.
Not saying that it is a horrible school,
but it is getting worse.
Yes the place use to be a high achieving school,
but it was not a place for challenges,
I lived through each day,
without trying at all,
without pushing myself
and I, and many of the students were still placed as 'honoured' students.
But in reality,
it wasn't right.
That was one of the reasons to why I tried for smt.
To this day,
I try harder than I have at my old school,
even though I fall at times.
But this feels real,
if you know what I mean.
No more days where I feel like a total waste to the society,
feeding off my dad's money and learning nothing productive and achieving so little to compensate that cost.
It felt as if I was a greedy leech,
sucking on my parent's money as much as I could,
while I spend my school days not having the evidence of absolute success presented right before me.
I did see numerous numbers of OP1s graduating,
but the numbers had fallen dramatically.
I don't think that there is another place that will help me to push me through my studies.
To be honest, there were minimal attention for each student at all of my past schools.
I've been to many schools in Taiwan,
in the space of 5 years or so,
I believe that I've changed 4 schools or so.
In Australia,
I've been to 4 schools and I do not intend to add on to the history.
It's true that I've made a promise to myself that I will stay in Redeemer until grade 12 and aim to get all 14 honours award. 2 each year, 1 each semester. From grade 6 to 12. Only 8 in my possession.
But now in smt,
receiving an award is far beyond most of the student's reach.
There is real recognition in student's work,
the hierarchy is evident and appreciated,
not abused and easily distributed.
In that way,
success is worth celebrating.
Just as we're heading into major assignments that will be counting towards our final grade,
it may be the right time to move
and avoid all this hassle,
but you see..
you're probably just avoiding this.
It is totally fine,
everyone has their own choice.
it's been a long journey,
maybe it's worth it
for some people to leave.
Maybe it would be worth it,
if I were to move schools.
But I'll be headstrong and stay here,
because I'm stupid for not leaving.
It's good, watching people succeed.
It motivates me,
it's hell inspiring :L
"HOW THE FUCK COULD THEY DO THAT, SO DARN SMART MAN"
there are so many intelligent beings,
that they make me feel very very intellectually restricted and 'stupid'
Yet,
this sort of environment will only make you a greater person than you are
broaden your skills and help you go beyond what you think you can achieve.
I've probably learned more at smt than the 4 years I've stayed at my old school.
Not just academically,
but of all things that the school has offered.
(even though ballon was one of the best memories I've had)
THINK AGAIN GUISE :D
you may think it is a good resort
but there's no coming back,
after leaving.
unlike all other schools,
there are chances to go back.
For smt,
hell to the no.
