[2011/3/20]
SO PISSED AT MYSELF
......
i'm in deep shit
i don't feel like even talking much
i just want a long hug from someone
;_;
24hrs is really not enough for what i need to do..
might as well as not sleep at all and practice 2350293 times
srsly i fee like i should consider to force myself to stay awake for 24hours straight
and the medicine im taking is making everything worse
i feel tired and sick
i knows its the side effects
but i wont stop taking it
because i trust the doctor.
he prescribed me legal drug, not those stuff that can ruin someone's life,
its just difficult for your body to function the way it is suppose to be.
i can feel its affecting my brain, i cant remember things as well as i could
i have major mood swings..its so stupid...
my back is always sore and i cant even stretch properly
this is retarded :@
if i were to tell you what i am taking nearly everyday..
you would google the medicine and you will be freaked out by all those side effects and past history of patients intaking the drug
its ruining everything
i feel so shit.
I think i'm going through temporary depression
i hope not.
everyone has an expectation for me
like EVERYONE
EVERYTHING I DO
its so stressful...but i cant give up,
because then the drug will take over my life instead ...at least for 8months
tiring.
HAVE A CRY
already did :D
i feel shit, a lot of shit, a lot a lot a lot a lot of shit