Checkpoints

warning: it's a bit personal but I'm willing to share anyway because yolo and good for me to read back in the future. 

I like to make checkpoints. You know like how games have checkpoints where you save the game up to that point? Yeah, I started making checkpoints before I even know that it exists. To me, it's like a short frame of memory where it marks a checkpoint in my life. I can replay it in my head whenever I want to, and it'll just feel like it's reappearing, again, in front of my eyes. It's useful because you can go back to the checkpoints and follow up on the progression and changes, mark important events in your life and keep it fresh and alive. I don't agree with the "don't dwell on the past" thing that people always say, because without past, there wouldn't be any present or future. The checkpoints serve as a reminder, they allow you to go back in time, to relive that moment and come back to the present with more knowledge of yourself and who you are.

On top of my head, one of my checkpoints in my life was when I came back to Australia round 7 or 8 years old and attended a school for 1 month. I was in the playground playing with my english speaking friends, legit there were no asians there (most likely the reason why my dad wanted me to go there). My friends were very nice to me, they were curious, young children, completely pure, with no prejudice or a hint of discrimination. They asked me how to say "hello", then ran to my dad and greeted him in mandarin. Then they'd run back to me, ask me how to say "how are you?", run to my dad and ask him how his day was. I remember the playground, I remember their expression, I remember the weather at that time. I don't remember my kindy friends in Australia, I remember these friends because I made a checkpoint. Note: I can't remember things for crap, brain just throws out unused information. 

Another checkpoint was when I was studying in Taiwan. As I was walking home from cram school in grade 1... I saw that the lights at grandparents' house was out. I normally have dinner at grandparents and so I didn't know where to go or whatever. So I proceeded to walk home. I was about 50meters away from the front door when I saw mum and stepdad, pushing the stroller and heading towards the other end of the street, with their back towards me. It's complete. Isn't it? I was young, I didn't think much and just ran and caught up with them. Then we went to eat Japanese food. I still remember that I ate green soba noodles that night. Now I look back... that really sucked. What if I left cram school a bit later? Would I be left alone on the streets? Where would I be? What am I worth? How much would it hurt at that time to find out that I have no where to go? That checkpoint, serves as a reminder. That I need to earn my position, don't take things for granted, I need to at least attempt to improve myself in some way. That checkpoint teaches me to let go, teaches me to think for others. Hey, maybe some people are better off without you just for a moment. Don't attach. Devotion is 100% in or out. Only devote when you're prepared. If you're not willing to, then don't do it. It hurts. that's what..lol no.

Haahaha this checkpoint will sound creepy but it's a big deal yeah. It was the day that my japanese exchange student arrived at my house. I remember us watching television together and she sat there and fell asleep in 10 minutes. We then put a blanket over her and let her sleep for a bit longer. I still remember looking at her, she just slept away. I was really happy, not because I didn't have to act normal after she slept, but it was because that she must of felt at home with us so she's able to just fall asleep like that. Yay!

Oh yeah that checkpoint... it was the day where my family came to visit me at Ballon, the 1 month camp. Our class was the 'unlucky' bunch because the school called up our parents and told them that the visit day was cancelled because of the flood that blocked the roads. The floods man, we couldn't even receive or post any mails for nearly 2 weeks fml. What is civilisation? Then the school emailed parents or something, the day before the scheduled visit day and told them that the roads were cleared and that they could visit us. Not being racist, but most Asian parents didn't come, we were just less informed I guess? LOL but the Asians sat there, waited for the parents to come and they never did. It was so sad. Even though they're mean and strict but you just miss them because you love them, you see your friends with their parents and you just wish yours were here too. When the parents that came, left, everyone cried.. it's crazy I know. It's like a chain reaction. They're not even our parents but we cried anyway when they left. yeah we're weaklings. The staff let us call home to tell our family that they can come in the next day to visit us. They did arrive the next day and bought lots of asian food HAHHAHAHAHA my friends came and ate with us. Honestly, who cares about not having enough food, it's more important to share the love. The checkpoint was marked at the moment where I watched them drive out of the place, brought me to tears but I tried manning up and walking away like a boss. Impossibru. 

I have so many other checkpoints but that'll take 5ever to tell you guys. That should be enough for ya'll. I'm back to working on my MDP due tomorrow morning.