but it's a job

House servants.

I wish to voice my thoughts on this matter.

They're so common in Taiwan. Most of them are from the Philippines, sometimes Vietnamese and Thai. Three years ago when I came back to visit, we had a house servant at that time and she took care of meals, hygiene and so on. She was really friendly. Not sure if that was a part of the job description or if that was her nature. She had a boyfriend. She never told me but I knew. Her face would light up when mum tells her that she could go out and have some free time. Late at night, I watched her crouch and lean against the door (to get a better reception), chuckle and speak in a language that I do not understand. 

Is it pity or compassion? I can't ever order them around to do things. If I must, I'd sound like the most sorry person on the face of the Earth. Use "please", bow, thank them every way possible before "asking them for a favor". I will wash my own cup. I will wipe down the table after meals. It's a part of the routine. But if I do that, what will she do? So I held back and leave things unfinished and watch her do her "job" from the corner of my eye. It's such a strange feeling. I can't ever get use to it. 

\\

I watched her eat in the kitchen while the rest of us ate out at the table, laughing, making crude jokes. The host turned his head  and shouted into the kitchen, "Add water", and she instantly drops her bowl and chopsticks and does her job. It's the way she looked into her bowl of rice, the way she carried herself that made me feel responsible, to at least offer emotional support and acceptance.  

I'd much rather be friends with them, than to treat them like servants but that defeats the purpose doesn't it? If I treated her like my friend, then she would not have "deserved" her earnings from this job. They know their "place", some of you might say. They are human but they're in desperate need of income. Is it kindness or simply just taking advantage of the circumstance. It frustrates me, to have to watch them put themselves below us and there's nothing that can be done. There's no problem, and there's nothing to solve. It's not a problem because it's an "equal" deal.  

\\

"Thank you", I told her. She turns her head and hurries back into the kitchen. To be frankly honest, I am not at all offended. She probably never heard that phrase from her boss, the hosts. A simple "you're welcome", would be an acceptance of her own value, in which she's afraid to take. At most I can do.. is to acknowledge her contribution. Even when it may not be necessary. If I was her, I'd much prefer to work in the background, to not be recognised because I see this as my job, not my life. What I am doing is with purpose, the purpose to earn money and support my family overseas. I am not here for my own sake, to be accepted, to have crowning glory for what I am obligated to do. 

Only if I could get over myself. 

Otherwise I don't think I can ever live side by side with them (with the expectation to put them below myself) without feeling uncomfortable.

Such intimate yet distant coexistence kills me slowly on the inside.

it was all for my baby

HELLLO

Writing this post in Taiwan atm and it's my second day here!

Judging from the title of this post, I'm hoping that you've got a general idea of how my flight experience was. It was terrible. Looking at it from the bright side, I didn't sit next to anyone XXL or had crying babies in the plane. It was my problem yes, I just couldn't sleep. Dinner/Supper was quite nice actually, I ate everything for once! Then I got excited because Pacific rim and Tiny Times 1 was on. So Yeah I did watch those two movies again hahahahaha After that, I just couldn't sleep and it was tiring and urghghhg lame. It reassured me that I was right that I actually seriously strongly dislike med-long flights despite the fact that I've been on countless flights since I was a baby. Normally people just get use to it so I'm jealous of all you "adapters" out there.

It's natural selection at it's work :(

I went through the procedures and had some red roosters afterwards. Fear not, I only got INTO the duty free something area at 10pm and my boarding time was 10:30pm. What's the significance of this? I'm demonstrating a faint characteristic of a "risk-taker". IB has sure left a mark on me. I started making my way to the gates at 10:40pm. Not even bothered to go line up. Why line up when you can just sit there and wait for the line to finish. Thankfully not many people had the same mindset as me, otherwise I'd end up in a line anyway HAHAH Taking flights with parents and grandparents are one of the most stressful things in the world. They'll get to the gates 15mins earlier, line up with everyone, worry and panic. That's why I actually prefer to take flights alone. No one will constantly ask me what time it is or if we should head off somewhere at what time for some amount of time. I move at my own pace.

Of course I was one of the last ones off the plane. Psh I don't stand and wait to get out. I sit and watch everyone push each other out. Oh and the guy gave me a weird look when he was looking at my passport and checking if I was the person in the photo. Kewlll. I look like a serial killer in serious photos (passport, ID, every photo). One time, they even asked if that was me. Anyway, my suitcase came out pretty quickly so I got out in 20mins. Mum's colleague came to pick me up and he bought me breakfast.

OS: How did he know I didn't eat breakfast on the plane :'D

In short, soy milk tastes better in Taiwan. 

Arrived at Grandparent's house, had breakfast, chatted a bit and went to sleep. Holy smolly I slept for 7 hours, then mum arrived and we went back to her apartment. Okay fun part. My new baby arrived! Lenovo y500! I was internally bursting with joy and rainbows even though I looked calm and reserved when I was unpacking my baby.

Yepee! I'm already super excited to play games with this hot stuff. Mind you, I spent heaps of time watching, reading, comparing laptops and finally came down to y510p HAHAHAH which wasn't available till december so we picked up y500 instead. Yes I looked through every possible gaming laptop from 2012 onward and I REGRET NOTHING. I was getting really sick of the overheating problem with lenovo x201 (school laptop) so I didn't consider razer blade at all. Also that seemed a bit overpriced and hardcore for a light gamer like me. I don't even legit game, but now I have the time to try!

Lenovo Ideapad y500 ( I did't want to peel off the protection )

The keyboard is so badass. It can be turned on, at low or super high. It was one of the design factors and drawn me into this laptop. The air vent design is the greatest. Built in speakers are fab. Graphics are fine (on league at least). No lags or mini spaz so far. Games run smooth. The only downside is the weight of the laptop. It's pretty heavy for a laptop but it's excused as there is a interchangeable bay (for duo graphics, storage or fan cooling). What more can I ask for. Oh another downside. It's not sold in Australia. I was so devo at first but thank goodness it's sold in Taiwan!

That's about it for now.
McLovin life! May be not so much with my allergy (eyes and nose are super irritated from the air in Taiwan).

Brb in 2 weeks ! (Learners + Celebration)

Alright I booked my seat for tonight's flight to Taiwan and I am honestly so happy to see many spare seats, not yet booked, for me to choose from. Here's a small screenshot of my seat.

I don't know why there are 5 "seats" in column F that's empty but they're definitely not for butts to take so I'm just going to assume that there will be no seats there. I was originally sitting in row 1 or row 2 at the window seat but tbh I prefer aisle over window now. Not even claustrophobic.

Thanks buzzfeed for uploading this video today :\

When I was young, I liked the window seat because
1. I could look out and feel better
2. I don't need to move when the person next to me needs to go to the toilet
3. I can lie on the window to sleep

Now I like the aisle seat because
1. I can stick my leg out for 3 hours when the lights are off
2. I can closely examine/smell the food
3. I can breathe

And I chose 42G because
1. I hate everyone on the plane
2. I will less likely be sitting next to an extremely large person (I blogged about what happened the last 2 times)
3. I am far away from crying babies  

Wish me luck guise. Hope I'll actually get some decent sleep!

I finally went and got my Ls today omg the amount of laze. Thankfully, there weren't many people there today so we had everything sorted (including test) within 45mins.

Victoria and I walked from kessels road all the way to Sunnybank afterwards to get some exercise and burn off some energy for some food at meet fresh!

As I was stuffing the food in my mouth, I realised....
hold up...I'm eating Taiwanese brand food when I will be in Taiwan the next day..

HAHHA what the hell. I could just go and eat it tomorrow omg and it would taste x1000 times better than the one here. Oml what am I doing. It was still good though.

Grandparents, stepmum and I went to 7-8 for lunch to celebrate for finishing high school. We were originally going to eat there on the weekend but ended up going to sushi train because dad hates this place. Like wuhhhht. -sigh-

I ordered Avocade, chicken and mushroom spaghetti with salad for $13.

Hmm that's about it for now. It's 2pm and I should start packing hahahhaha. Believe it or not but I actually need to pack cause I've got nothing in Taiwan, I bring and take my stuff every year. So far the plan is to go there with a near empty suitcase and come back with a full one. Yeah you know it, I'm ready to shop for uni! LOL jks I actually get tired from shopping really quickly.

GRADUATED! + CELEBRATIONS

Sorry for the lack of posts! I keep thinking that I blogged the night before or something but nope the last post was Sunday... and that's considered a while back as you all know that I'm an intense blogger. 

Tuesday - FINAL + CELEBRATION!

I finished all my IB exams on Tuesday morning and it was the best way to round off the program because design tech options was just SO GOOD, I was really happy with it. Yay! Though I changed my options a week before the exam date, it was still DOable and fun (it's about food!). DT paper 1 and 2 was really hard in comparison with the papers I've done in the past :\ I'm just not sure what I've wrote is enough to hit the exact wording in the markscheme..

I can upload the word file and link it here if any gr 11 dt kids want my notes (to each syllabus point) for Option A Food science and technology. I gave my printed copy to Juno already and it has mando translation, teachers note highlighted, answers from past exam markscheme to syllabus points hand written.

Golly gosh I wish I did this for all my other subjects. It makes things way easier. Normally I give up half way and just delete the whole file hahahah but this time I sat on my arse for 2 days googling, thinking and typing it all out. Half of the option was pretty much biology, so Victoria helped me last minute revise. THANKS VICTORIA!!

After exams, we decided to go get froyo and play cards at Hazel. Then Julie wanted to go to fun house so we went along with her. Guess what I did. bball machine. I want to actually beat my record ffs last time I wasted 2 dollars making sure I was still at the same level as before, this time I wanted to score higher etc.

AND I DID

Two more shots and I'll get to 250 (last stage) but I'm still happy for my improvement :'D
For the night, I made myself some creamy bacon and mushroom fettuccine and it was delicious! I've never had these at home, mostly because we don't really have time to make things like this or even think to have these kind of foods for dinner. Yeah we have those typical asian dishes and they take a few minutes to cook. Much faster in comparison to... boil water, cook pasta, cook bacon, add cream, add egg yolk blablablabla. SINCE high schooling life was over, that meant that I have all the time in the world to do whatever I want.

Wednesday - CELEBRATION!
We were originally planning to go to Wet n Wild but some spiritual being forbid us to so we decided to go Newway Kareoke! Julie and Vic went to school to get the forms signed off so we agreed to meet outside the place at 12:30. The thing was, Julie told Vic 12:30 but Vic told me 11:30...so I got off the bus (that I've never been on before omg) at 11pm and walked to my neighbour's store and sat there for almost an hour or so... just mingling human beings no biggie.

We finally met up at 12:30, went in and quickly ordered our food. I left the room to order the food and Vic went to the toilet, that leaves Julie alone and she picked 72432305932 Jay Chou's songs urghhghghg really. In response to that, I picked 928395820382853 A-Lin's songs huehuehue

Lunch: Beef and capsicum curry with Lemon Sprite 

It was pretty fun, considering this might be the last time that we'd be doing this. Great memory guise, great memory. After kareoke, we took the bus and hfor d off to city to meet with the group for dinners.

Julie and I ended up going to Bonsai Botandka for dinner. We didn't want to have baffet because we weren't that hungry. On our way walking back to city. I derped out and almost tripped in front of a bar. Sick moves maggie. My ankles are the weakest shit ever! Far out DAH y u no strengthen.

 There weren't that many people there at dinner time. Suppose everyone's out drinking or on the couch watching television. We ordered ramen and shared it. Julie ate most of it because my tummy just filled itself after a few mouths of ramen.

It tasted pretty good. It was different to ramens from other typical japanese restaurants. I've had a lot of ramens so take my "advice" hahahahah

Thursday - GRADUATION!!

I don't even know how to wear this gown like seriously what the heck am I doing. help.

Went to school in the morning for an hour or so, then went back home after subway for brunch. When I got home, I literally just rolled into my bed and went for a 1.5 hour nap and rolled out of the bed at 2:20 and left the house in 2 minutes. Such exhaustion, very wow.

Whoever said sleep is for the weak is definitely not coming on my ark when the flood comes. I would even take mosquitoes over you. Jokes aside, I needed my sleep. 

Almost perfectly timed photo. Nice pose fred. hahhahaha

Thank you all so much for making high school something worthy to reminiscent on. I'll look back and not cringe at any of this (for once)! Okay maybe this photo will make me cringe in years time but whatevs it depicts the amount of care and seriousness I have for life. 

How could I forget to take a selfie at this time. I app mum this photo and she was like, "when I zoom in, why can I only see your chin?" Mind you, I was app mum the whole time when I was on my phone kkk not some random. She missed out on a lot of things and really wanted to be involved so I decided to share this moment with her! 

Well. 

I graduated! HAHHAHAH YES PEACE HOMIE I'M OUT 

No tears were shed. Vic and Julie thought I cried because my eyes were red but no my eyes were tired and irritated from watching the videos and staying attentive to speeches. 

THANK YOU AND GOOD BYE TO QA AND IB

Thursday - CELEBRATION!

A few weeks back, we planned and booked a table at Alchemy to celebrate graduation. We weren't sure if we would be able to hang out in the near future so we chose a restaurant with good view and so on. The waitress was really cheerful and we had a few laughs. 

We didn't take photos of the nitrogen thing :( They "cooked" some flavoured cream in nitrogen for us. I never thought physics would haunt me right after I graduate. The "chef" asked us if we had any idea of what nitrogen does and I was like, "I think I know where this is going". We've seen so many demonstrations by Mr Baker, smashed so many flowers, dropped so many fruits, inflated so many balloons... that I actually remember what this "gas" does. Julie and Victoria both breathed out two trails of cold white looking things from their nose hahahahah omg it was hilarious I should of caught that on camera. Good times, good times.

I look very excited don't I ;)

LOL I was actually really hungry, hence the awkward facial expression. 

After dinner, we walked from Alchemy at Eagle street to city. I nearly tripped 5 times on my way there no joke. The heel was thin as and base was small so it was hard to walk on the retarded brick-like floor. Note to self, never wear non wedge heels to Eagle Street because that will be torture. IT WAS. That's okay, I won't ever see these people again >____> 

-trips-

me: omg

-looks around-

me: HAHHAHAHAHAHAHHA :''''''D 

-dies internally-

I ended up holding onto Julie for most of the time. This couple was walking behind us and said something along the lines of people torturing themselves for fashion. HECK YES I AGREE WHOLEHEARTEDLY. I'd take flip flops all day errday over heels but that won't look good at a restaurant like Alchemy :( Just as they finished saying that sentence, I stumbled. Then they asked me if I was alright and I was like " HAHAHHA Q___Q YES" Weak ankles, thin heels, high base OP. 

We went to pool afterwards. I didn't play though. Knowing my gifted skills in throwing a tennis ball, I knew I was destined to do something like throwing a grenade or something. Anyway, I knew I was going to derp out and sink the white ball so I just watched Julie and Vic play. Alice came along afterwards and we bussed home together.

Thank you Alice for taking 1029821 photos for us!

I can feel more celebrations to come. Thank you Vic and Julie for a memorable night!

You retards are the best xoxooxxo 

- says the one that tripped over 5 times that night

We spent over an hour sending and and choosing photos omg so much work hahahhaha

Bullying

Nothings been happening recently so I thought I should do a fill in blog post about something that I feel strongly about. Yes, and that is - bullying. I've been bullied in preschool and kindy for my ethnicity but I don't remember anything about it. So you could say that I have very minimal experience as a victim of bullying. What's the point of the post, if I'm not going to inform people about the effect of bullying on the victims and why people shouldn't bully others? Well. I will be telling you what it feels like to be a bully.

You know what I think? The system is all wrong. Bullies are the ones that are the root of the problem, I don't see people try to understand their circumstances. Instead, people tell us to talk to the victims and bring them out of their situation. NO. That is not it. That does not solve the problem. You're just cleaning after the mess and what people need to realise is that.. you need to fix the person who's making the mess instead of mindlessly just cleaning after the mess. You need to confront the bully. You need to walk a mile in their shoes, get to know their background. Don't reverse covert the bully. It's like overthrowing the "king" and making yourself the "king". Same shit, it's just now you're the bully, not them.

I think people should actually take the time to help the bullies. Help them come to realise that they don't need to do this. I still remember this girl openly admit that she's been a bully and that now she looks back and regret the things she did. Most ex bullies or bullies would just smirk at the idea of owning up to their own actions.
Bullying for me? Yeah I grew out of it. It's such a childish thing to do. It's dumb.
I should clarify on this. I've verbally and covert (socially) - bullied people. However, I did not initiate any of them, I amplified and executed the plan. D
amn it's so dumb urgh.

Girls can be so vicious.
Back then, we would bully as a group.
There would always be a person who does the thinking. "Let's call her__" or, "she's such a___", or "she looks like___", "her hair is so__". Then the idea is judged, and once it passes through, the group makes hell a reality for the victim. The cold shoulders, names, singling out and talking behind their backs. Rumours didn't happen because lesbehonest we weren't creative liars.
-Why does the thinker suggest ideas?
Easy, because they want to be liked, they want to be accepted, they want to feel valued. The thinker needs help. Reassurance of value through bullying is not right.
-Why does the group execute the plan?
Even easier, because they want to feel powerful, they want to bring back some food for the pack to emotionally feed off.
-Why do people want to feed off people's negative emotions?
Because they're hollow themselves, they want to be complete.
The group needs help. Everyone needs help.
Not just the victims.
Is this making more sense?

Sometimes I wonder why the victim and I are still rather good friends to this day. Why didn't they hate me for my words? So I confronted them individually after the phase died down. In my case, the victims were fully aware of the reason why the group turned against them. In fact, the things they did was really dog and that made the group mad. I guess I'm not classified as bullies that just bully anyone. I bullied those who turned against me and the group. I wanted them to taste the bitterness in return. I was in control, and I took "advantage" of the power to temporarily "fix" my insecurities. What I should of done, was steer us away from this drama. Preferably just stop it all from happening. I realised how power could easily drain away kindness. Those in power, yet still filled with kindness, are truly mature and will forever have my respect.

Oh yes bystanders how could I forget you,
you just stood there and watched it all, you do realise you're taking a piece of the meat too...
so don't point fingers and look down on bullies because you're just like them, from head to toe.

All it takes is one person, to show them how the world is a better place,
Not how they can be a better person but how they are a better person,
Not only what they are doing is wrong, but what they can do instead.

now whenever I feel negativity or tension between people, I just want to say

Please.

haha, well that was a serious post
on a side note, grandma asked me if I was going to schoolies. 
omg grandma you're the best. 
just cause my cousin is going doesn't mean I will be hahaha 
imagine if I tag along with my cousin, cockblocking lvl 90000

9 down 3 to go

SL Maths and HL Mando, done and dusted!

This is so surreal. I kind of miss IB already hahahaha and I'm not even done with it yet. Tbh I enjoyed the learning process, now I look back and wished that I'd actually wake up and get things done to the best of my ability. I've crammed way too many things the night before. Maybe I should do a recollection of moments all of my subjects over the last 3 years in another post. Surprisingly, I do remember how torturing grade 10 was, it was probably worse than grade 11 in my opinion. 

SL Maths P2

Every last question in part B made me cringe. I think this paper will cost me a lot of marks which I am obviously not too happy about but what more can I do with it hahahah 

HL Mando P1/P2

Paper 1 wasn't as hard as the past papers we've done, and we've done heaps of past papers..about...this much, which was basically all of the past papers. 

So now you can see how the difficulty of nov 13 p1 scales with the rest of the papers in the past year. I spent a good 20 minute checking my work and another 20 minutes at the end just copying words from the text to practice for paper 2. I can't write mando to save my life :( I don't know how to write heaps of characters so the 20 minutes in-exam cram was really helpful. 

Paper 2 was a nightmare. Can you see the trend? It's happening for most subjects :( Most people chose the same question so I'm hoping that the examiner won't get sick of reading the same thing by the time they get to mine. Not to mention, we'd probably get compared with each other and omg I'm not the best writer in the class fml. Part B was even worse because they literally only gave us a quote and we have to base our writing off that. We only ever did 1 paper 2 that had that kind of question thrown at us, they generally give us a stimulus to bs from but no not this time. Worst thing, the quote was about friends. Really IB? REALLY. 

me after rereading my part b writing

yes what I wrote was complete bullshit and it was corny and ealfksjdlfkasj urrrghhhh 

It's non of your beezwax IB, you don't need to know what friendship is to me. It's still a very foreign concept which I'm still trying to grasp hold of. What I thought was friendship, wasn't actually what I thought it would be or what it was. Why do people put such a heavy word onto a simple relationship or connection between people? What is the exact point of it? Every thing would still be the same without that definition. I don't really know anymore. See this is what happens when I think deep. I'll just confuse myself and nothing will make sense hahahaha 

I even wrote an analogy for how friendship works. Guise I know this is a sensitive topic but just get over it, things complicate when people want you to actually think about it. IB wanted me to think about it so here I am, writing out my skewed deep thoughts about friendship. 

So I wrote that friendship is basically like having to hold a bomb that is going to set off at any random time. Both you and your friend take in a bomb from each other and one wrong move, the bomb explodes and it's game over. The fact that someone is willing to take your bomb, and give you theirs in return, is a magical moment where unicorns dressed in tutus gallop through the arch of the rainbow and into the sunset. Everyone's bombs hold different components, some explode ugly, some probably doesn't even hurt you when it explodes. It all really depends on what type of person the "friend" is. Some bombs are light, some are heavy. Some you can hold onto for a long time, some you'd just drop and let it explode. You can be tough and take a lot of bombs at a time because you're confident in handling a lot of them. Conversely, some of you may prefer just holding a few because you're afraid that the rest of the bombs will set off when one explodes. Either way, there are both pros and cons for whatever decision you've made, but it doesn't matter because at the end of the day, you choose what fits you best, and that would defy all the cons. 

People had heaps of idioms and made their essay really professional 

and I'm sitting here like,

"friendship are like bombs"

The whirlpool of thoughts

too dangerous 

6 down, 6 to go

HALF WAY THERE :D
6 more exams and I'll be free from IB!

My 3 day break between physics p3 and maths p1 was rather intense (study wise). Goodness I love using the word "intense" hahahah I also migrated to the dining room/kitchen and took over 1/3 of the dining table with my notes and past papers. The reason why I did this was because I wanted to try and study elsewhere, my room was a bit too comfy for me. I'd sit at my desk for 5 minutes and then roll onto my bed and do nothing, climb back into my chair, study for a few more minutes and roll back onto my bed for a 30minute break. The cycle goes on forever.

Dad was glad about me moving out of my room because he always complains that I stay in my room all the time.

-me coming out of my room-
dad: [from the other end of the house] OH MAGGIE YOU'RE OUT! WELCOME!

All the time. All...the..time..
My parents always watch Taiwanese food or politics related shows and honestly, I'd rather spend time on youtube watching whatever I want.

Back to what I was suppose to blog about.
Well, I managed to cram topic 6 on Sunday afternoon. Guess how I did it? YOUTUBE HAHHAHHAHAHA YOUTUBE IS AMAZING. I just watched a an hour long video and it pretty much taught me everything that QA tried to teach me in weeks. Aside from that, I took a nap and did some physical exercises in between. My attention span at home is around 5minute to (at most) 50minutes no joke.

Slept early and woke up before my alarms went off, which was definitely a good sign because that meant I was at 100% and ready for the day. I went to mos burgers and studied there from 8:30 to 11:00. I just love this place, it's quiet and there's food. The only downside is probably the aircon being too strong and the music. The music was a bit disturbing at times because it was actually pretty good.... um.. hahahah but I could still work and think because the exam was in a few hours and I had so many things that I didn't know (which freaked me out).

For every other pm exams, I went to sushi place (next to mos burger) and studied there for an hour or so. Legit no one goes there in the morning so I like to take the entire space for myself and do my own thannng.

SL Maths P1
The first, bloody, question. I left out the last step so it's like something p something q something p instead of something p something q. 
FML WHAT AM I DOING
Okay bad start, but managed to go through part A in 15mins (left out some questions inc the graphing one). Finished on time though, unlike physics :( Some other ones were wtf worthy but in general it wasn't cruel like 2008 and earlier. After exams, we went through all the questions and checked if we had the same answers and it turned out that Julie and I had the same answer for many questions. I hope we're both correct though.. hahahhah

p.s. my graph was a bit dodgy because I didn't have a ruler. Tried my best. It probably looked dec in the examiner's pov fingers crossed LOL

MATHS P2 AND MANDO P1 AND P2 TOMORROW
-screams internally-

5 down, 7 to go

MitiS makes the best beats for studying mannnngg

Finished IB SL English and HL Physics! 

I don't even want to look back hahahah What's done is done, but there are more to be done so I'll need to work hard on that. I'm actually drained out. My eyes are half open and I've been sitting in the manliest sitting position for quite a while. Mindlessly scrolling through tumblr, facebook and reddit. Oh and alt tabbing back to maths every now and then. 

If you want to know how I feel right now, let me tell you, it's sheer satisfaction. No not satisfaction with how I went for the exams, but the fact that I only have 3 subjects left. Logic please. I just want to get it over and done with.... after I've studied for it. 

SL English P1

To be honest I didn't even read the whole prose. I just skimmed it till the small dialogue 3/4 down the first page and went straight to the poem. I've actually never written a commentary response to a prose before. In my whole IB English journey, I've only written 6 full commentaries in total, including term 2, mock and final exam. I'm actually such a slacker I won't deny. 

"maybe I should do a practise paper today"

I thought IB was pretty nice to us. The poem wasn't too bad (no war context hell yeah). Hahaha I don't like poems like the one about elements and sinking into the river etc. Far too deep mate. So many things could go wrong with a poem like that.  I thought the poem this round was straight forward but I'm not really proud of what I've written.

SL English P2

I was expecting to get butteffed in paper 2 but it didn't turn out to be that bad, "it" being "butteffed". I chose question 1 which was about the playwright's use of props to enhance the effectiveness of the play. I thought the question was broad so I chose this. Nah jokes I wasn't too sure about dramatic irony in the second question and I had no information stored in my head that had a slim relation to question 3. 

Me when I read the first question

"I'm ready to slay this bitch"

I actually walked in the exam betting that there'd be a question on props/food/motif. My 6 quotes would cover any of the 3 so that all worked out. Regardless, I rushed and had heaps of mind blank moments. So I'd just look up all of a sudden and internally whisper "what the fuk". fyi I can't think with my head down so I always lift my head and look around or stare at something in the distant. As a result, I had to quickly rush my conclusion so it was poop and completely disintegrated from the rest of the essay. 

HL Physics P1/P2/P3
WHAT IS PHYSICS. 


Yep so that pretty much summarised what I thought about the exams I've done this week. Bring on maths and mando next week! I've been feeling so drowsy recently it's insane, I kid you not.

For all you bilingual (or multilingual) people out there... Do you get this frustration from trying to remember the word for something that you know in the other language but not the one that the person you're speaking with..knows.

me when I can't remember the word in that language

I haven't spoken proper/semiformal mando for a while (I speak every day simple mando at home), the only time I actually use this language formally is
- when I'm ranting in mando to victoria, or in
- hl mando assessments (I tried)

So Since I haven't actually ranted to her OR had oral assessments in a while... my level of frustration today went through the roof. I had to explain this philosophy to my grandparents and family friend and it made me question my sanity. It sucks even worse when I have to go from Taiwanese to English. The gap is simply too large. As much as I hate to admit, I actually have to translate Taiwanese to Mando, then finally to English. #inefficient #iknow

I had to stop and ask the family friend for what the word is in Mandarin (but she doesn't know either), which meant...my grandparents were actually only getting 80% of what I'm saying. Well, what goes around comes around. They had to speak mando to me back then, when they primarily spoke Taiwanese. I'm kind of picking up Hakka ..slowly... because stepmum and her family speaks Hakka. It sounds different but you can kind of work it out after a while.

Bilingual/multilingual problems