House servants.
I wish to voice my thoughts on this matter.
They're so common in Taiwan. Most of them are from the Philippines, sometimes Vietnamese and Thai. Three years ago when I came back to visit, we had a house servant at that time and she took care of meals, hygiene and so on. She was really friendly. Not sure if that was a part of the job description or if that was her nature. She had a boyfriend. She never told me but I knew. Her face would light up when mum tells her that she could go out and have some free time. Late at night, I watched her crouch and lean against the door (to get a better reception), chuckle and speak in a language that I do not understand.
Is it pity or compassion? I can't ever order them around to do things. If I must, I'd sound like the most sorry person on the face of the Earth. Use "please", bow, thank them every way possible before "asking them for a favor". I will wash my own cup. I will wipe down the table after meals. It's a part of the routine. But if I do that, what will she do? So I held back and leave things unfinished and watch her do her "job" from the corner of my eye. It's such a strange feeling. I can't ever get use to it.
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I watched her eat in the kitchen while the rest of us ate out at the table, laughing, making crude jokes. The host turned his head and shouted into the kitchen, "Add water", and she instantly drops her bowl and chopsticks and does her job. It's the way she looked into her bowl of rice, the way she carried herself that made me feel responsible, to at least offer emotional support and acceptance.
I'd much rather be friends with them, than to treat them like servants but that defeats the purpose doesn't it? If I treated her like my friend, then she would not have "deserved" her earnings from this job. They know their "place", some of you might say. They are human but they're in desperate need of income. Is it kindness or simply just taking advantage of the circumstance. It frustrates me, to have to watch them put themselves below us and there's nothing that can be done. There's no problem, and there's nothing to solve. It's not a problem because it's an "equal" deal.
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"Thank you", I told her. She turns her head and hurries back into the kitchen. To be frankly honest, I am not at all offended. She probably never heard that phrase from her boss, the hosts. A simple "you're welcome", would be an acceptance of her own value, in which she's afraid to take. At most I can do.. is to acknowledge her contribution. Even when it may not be necessary. If I was her, I'd much prefer to work in the background, to not be recognised because I see this as my job, not my life. What I am doing is with purpose, the purpose to earn money and support my family overseas. I am not here for my own sake, to be accepted, to have crowning glory for what I am obligated to do.
Only if I could get over myself.
Otherwise I don't think I can ever live side by side with them (with the expectation to put them below myself) without feeling uncomfortable.
Such intimate yet distant coexistence kills me slowly on the inside.