How to kill mosquitoes for dummies

I cannot let this day go pass without making a serious note on how freaking annoying mosquitoes are. If I see one, I will kill one. No second thought. No I'm not going to care if it has a family, a brilliant mind, or a soul. It will die if I'm still around. 

You should also keep in mind that I'm an angry Maggie because I had a really light sleep. I was so done with the mosquito in my room last night that was happily devouring me so I grabbed my pillows and blanket, went out of my room and slept on the sofa. Even then, I was still paranoid that the mosquito would follow me there or eventually find me there and that's why I woke up at random times throughout the morning. Yes, I finally fell asleep at 3am on the sofa. Anyway, because I had a really light sleep, I'm probably going to come across as being ignorant and ruthless.

I found the stupid mosquito clinging onto my mirror when I woke up and swiftly grabbed my maths book + maths data booklet and whacked the shit out of the mosquito. I even took a photo of it. Now one of the pages on my maths data booklet has some remains and blood stains from the mosquito :( REGARDLESS, THE MISSION WAS ACCOMPLISHED #NOREGRETS

Since mosquitos are rare in Australia, I think they are quite smart in comparison with the ones in Taiwan. Mosquitoes are everywhere in Taiwan, that's why every household has those appliances designed to electrocute mosquitoes. However, those appliances definitely made me a satisfied, mosquito serial killer. I get this thrill from repetitively activating electricity and watch the mosquito burn and suffer. I hate them with passion, I want to eradicate them. Truthfully, I've only had a few encounters with mosquitoes in Australia, heaps at Ballon, but no where to be seen in the civilized (that's an inside joke). It's either that they can't survive, or they're some witty little blood suckers. What's worse is that they really seem to like my blood or something. Me in my even younger days in Taiwan, count mosquito bites and it averages about 25 on my arms, legs and neck (sometimes face). Under these circumstances, I've developed this "instinct" to kill any and every mosquitoes in my path.

Here is a very accurate graphical representation of "Food Chain" to me:

Although I've become quite experienced with handling mosquitoes (when I find them), they just seem to be so good at hiding. Look! I even made a, also very very accurate, list of the traits of Taiwanese and Australian Mosquitoes.

Taiwanese Mosquitoes...
- Have the ability to follow you up and into your apartment from the parking floor via the lift
- fly really slowly
- have slower reaction
- are worse at hiding
- emit a lower buzzing sound

Australian Mosquitoes...
- Come out of no where
- fly faster
- have faster reaction
- are better at hiding
- emit a higher buzzing sound

The trick is to approach the mosquito until it's right about in your face then slowly hold up your weaponry until it's no more than 20cm away from the mosquito. Then BAM, hit it hard and you're bound to not miss this A-hole. Also, choose wisely for your weaponry. Use something that has a large area of impact because mosquitoes can slip out a few cm away from it's original position as it seems to be able to sense the incoming force by the movement of air. That explains why you need to strategically approach it and surprise this muddatrucker. You're welcome.

I need sleep
zzzzzz